Wednesday, March 7, 2018

I am Heidi's Occipital Nerve

All the nerves you see hurt, except for some reason, the one under my lip.
image credit
... And, it seems, I fucking hate her.

(I'm also her excuse for never posting. But 'BONERS, it is a seriously good excuse.)

Welp. I sat down to write an actual narrative about all this with PLENTY of snark included* but I'm taking two anti-convulsants now, so you're lucky you're even getting English syntax. 

In fact, I just tried to smash those together and type
"Englysh" so yeeeaaahhh: not so much: You get an info dump.

I have a new CT scan next week to make sure there's no new fuckery, but current diagnosis is Occipital Neuralgia, in my case from disc failure causing compression. My research finds it's usually between the C1 and C2 vertebrae. The scan I had in July showed my degenerative disc disease was definitely affecting the cervical discs.

The diagnosis from
my current/former neurologist, Dr. You're SO Goddamn Fired It's Hilarious**. The other team members are Dr. Amazing, my GP and Dr. Pain Manager, who is equally fabulous. 

So Occipital Neuralgia is like having a migraine all the time or almost all the time--I do have days like today when it's just pressure, like I'm wearing overly tight earmuffs at my temples with random "stabbies," the lightning-like pain people with sciatica know too well.

Light in my eyes is a sonofabitch, and I'm going to have to go rest in the dark pretty much right now.
I miss this space so much. I miss... everything? so much. Shane and Molly and my family are fucking amazing and I would absolutely not have made it through the past year without their support and the constant virtual hugs and listening from Elizabeth and Celeste.

I adore y'all and the whole landscape of my life this past year is just unrecognizable to me without you two amazing stars.

*I am v v v unhappy with one of my doctors but mblergh the story's too long for my brain to tell right now.
**OOPS I snarked anyway.

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

I Was Out-Gothed So Hard

Gather ‘round, darklings, for it’s story time. Mama Bones’ gotta let this toner sit on my hair a spell so I’m a silvery platinum goth, not some golden-blonde normal person.
So I’m at the drug store with Bird and I’m buying last minute 50% off shit: black velvet fake stilleto nails, huge lashes, etc. Sahmain cometh, y’know? And I’m babbling about how much we love Halloween to the cashier.

I’ve seen her a lot here. Her ‘holler’ accent is mighty: It crushes my twang. That’s typical for these parts, but I admit that I’ve filed her in my mind as Sweet Older Country-Type Lady.

But y’all.

Heh. This woman... so, she tells me her fam is SUPER into it, too. They used to dress her brother as a scarecrow dummy and he’d be corpse-still until the perfect moment to spring up and scare the holy hillbilly Protestant JESUS out of trick-or-treat-ers. And their parents.
And probably some cats.
So she goes on to tell us they used to turn their lawn into a graveyard and she just casually as fuck drops the fact that her neighbors have a coffin they let her borrow, and even more stunningly casually she says, "They usually sleep in it," and blows right past that with no explanation whatsoever. There's no tone of joke delivery. Nothing at all to indicate that there is anything at all unusual about sleeping in a coffin. We finish our mutual celebration of Halloween anticipation and Birdy and I head to the car. 
Mollz says, "So I'm picturing 'What We Do in the Shadows'. You?"
I tell her "Yeah... or those goths that goth so hard they literally live like vampires."
We then in unison say, "What the fuh?" and "What the fuck?" and giggle all the way home.

Sunday, October 1, 2017

Happy Gothtober!

You may remember my mentioning before that my friends at work mannnnyyy years ago and I always wore solid black on the first of October, to kick of what we insisted (I stand by this, obviously) was a month long High Holiday for Wiccans and general gothy witchy types.

Now I've seen that #Gothtober is a thing, and I rejoice.

So I went fucking crazy and did my regular platinum goth look and then a wardrobe/makeup change and popped on my new favorite wig. Also one contact lens, not in homage to the Weird Ass Uncle Marilyn of popgoth, but because I've weaponized my fingernails and I scratched one of the fucking lenses.

Can I tell you how much I love glitter tears?
Also NYX Stone Fox Liquid Lipstick.
Love that, too.

So hi, I'm back, and my nerves aren't attacking my skull every damn day.