Monday, July 24, 2006

on hotness and machines

Someone posted in Blogging Baby about hot moms. Most of us, per the comments, are thinking we are lukewarm at best. Shane for one is not getting the conjugal attention he'd like, but assures me I am still a sexy chica. Turning thirty and giving birth a month later has made me feel like I aged a decade in the past year. I'd like to think that I have, emotionally. The physical stuff is a mixed bag. I love my silver hairs, all goddessy and mature. The wrinkles, not so much, but they aren't bad really. What I'm thinking really needs help is my wardrobe. I've spent too many hours nursing Molly and watching the Style network and wishing for some trendy new clothes. Then I feel like a superficial shit for daydreaming about a makeover and watching crappy TV. The truth is, though, nursing in the beginning is constant and a little boring. Such a nasty habit, though. Shane and I don't want Molly watching TV until she is 3 or so. We are still indulging ourselves more than we should. I've instated a no-TV-until-8:00pm rule for myself this week.

My current parent-paranoia is about Molly's gadgets. We don't have alot of stupid baby equipment, but she has an automatic swing. It's been nicknamed baby crack. She loves this thing, and will go to sleep faster than rocking in a chair with me. I had imagined working on the house and at the computer with her in a sling, but she hates her sling usually. The swing lets us get things done. Why do I feel guilty about using it? Her other machine is a Kick and Play bouncy chair- and this toy I love. She can activate the lights and music herself already, which makes me think she is a genius. It's so cool to see her stimulated and aware and staring inquisitively at the colors and blinkies. She can entertain herself for a while in that, and at least it's not putting her to sleep. I just hate not being in contact with her. I have to go back to work tomorrow after a long weekend, and I want cuddle time. But I have logos and a website to finish, and a cousin's wedding invitations to design. At least I can stare at her while she's swinging.

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