Sunday, July 23, 2006

quite bearable lightness of being

We had a really good day. Shane and a friend moved in my grandma's old couch, which I've coveted for years, and moved out our stinky old couch. The dogs have been warned away under penalty of death, and Molly consented to throw up anywhere but the couch. It's yellow and green striped and goes well in our colorful living room, which is decorated in early Thrift-store and Art School. (I sometimes sit staring at the walls and daydreaming of decorating the house purposefully, with a little bit of actual money. For now, having a hand-me-down this beloved is heaven.)

Shane went on to the friend's place to chill, and Mollybird & I stayed at Grandma's to visit her and my aunt. The baby threw an unholy fit, but made me feel like the best mom ever by quieting down when she was handed back to me. We picked up Shane and went to Magic Island, a little park downtown which is actually a small penninsula on the Kanawha River. There was a nice enough sunset and a view of a bridge- my husband loves to photograph bridges. (He is so water, although he's an air sign. He was a white water rafting guide for years, and a lifeguard before that.)

It was so nice, strolling around with Molly on a perfect summer evening, Shane and I holding hands and pushing the stroller together. This stroller- we made fun of them when we were expecting. They're freakin' SUV's these days. Now, we load it up like a pack mule with diaper bag, camera bag, tripod, etc. It's pretty handy. I sat with the baby girl on a chunky stone bench under a gorgeous willow while Shane framed up the sunset. He got some beauteous shots of us also.

I love these quietly happy times, the very definition of the word contentment. Simple and easy, and I just forget to not be happy. I learn that lesson at least weekly, that I just have to shrug off the worry and it will go, but I let it creep back in. I've been trying to re-teach my brain to relax, and I think that my life's circumstances will make this easier now. I refuse to be anything less than all I can be, so that Molly has a strong and healthy woman to mother her. I could be too introspective and lament the fact that I should have found this motivation within, but if I find it in my daughter, at least I found it.

Speaking of strong, healthy women- "Big Molly", my little one's namesake, hasn't seen the baby yet. She was mine and Shane's art professor and just one of my favorite people in the world. We're inviting her family over next weekend, and I'm giddy. She's like a mom and a mentor and a big sister all in one, and I have a childlike desire to impress her. They've never been to our house, so I'll be cleaning like mad this week.

As soon as Shane uploads the photos I'll post our willow-y prettiness.

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