Wednesday, March 28, 2007

in the land of the mp3 lullabies

Hello Boobies? 'Member how I was all excited reading how your magic milk would immunize Mollybird against everything from ear infections to salmonella? And how I thought you rocked so much I forgave you for being lopsided and big and kinda swingy?

Right. Well, what the fuck happened to your antibodies you slacker-ass mammaries? Why, I demand of you, has the baby caught my cold with compounded interest and has now had a fever for two days? You suck.

PS, stop leaking. The baby is sick, and she's not that hungry, so there's no need for a let down every time she squeaks or whimpers. I thought we had this all figured out at like 4 months.

And now back to Rockabye Baby mp3's of Led Zeppelin, The Ramones, and Nine Inch Nails.

Oh and Trent, you suck too. Survivalism is the only listenable track you've made since the fucking Tapeworm stuff. I am so breaking up with you now, officially. I'll be leaving you for Maggie Gyllenhaal's baker character from Stranger than Fiction. And Lily Allen. (OMG Jase & Eden she's so sassily bitchinly yummy!)

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