
I thought graphic design would be a smaller emotional investment. Now I have one client whose project had me so blocked and stymied in the beginning I fell apart and now several rounds of proposals later, still can't seem to please. I have another who is an artisan and is continually redesigning my stuff and I'm worried it's going to look awful. I'm confused that she's not pleased and I thought my ideas were so solid. What's going on? Do I suck? Is it always like this in design and I've just been lucky the past couple of years with happy clients who didn't notice that I suck?
Is this a symptom of my abusing and neglecting my real talents and I'm projecting it onto my graphic work? Am I just too overloaded to let my creativity flow?
At the risk of being an uber drama queen, let me tell you I've often wondered if having the talent to create without the discipline to hone it and sell it isn't more curse than blessing. Not fulfilling my potential is the theme of my life. I am 31 years old. I think I've wasted 90% of those 31 years on slacking and not owning my true self-ness. Am I ever going to change? I keep thinking This is the Epiphany! I Have the Answer! and then, not so much.
At least in this round of moody creative doubt, I can say that I'm working my ass off and am a great mama if nothing else and find awesome comfort in that.
No comments:
Post a Comment