Saturday, June 16, 2007

dear woman or girl from postsecret

I wrote this to an anonymous Post Secret contributor from last week's batch of secrets. (This website is wonderful, if you haven't seen it.)
When I worked at the clinic, I had to deal with you a couple of times. I was so hurt and offended and infuriated I wanted to shake you. You were adamantly, vehemently anti-choice. You condemned every single woman who chose abortion. You related this on the phone to me while I scheduled your appointment to terminate your pregnancy.

Exactly how the fuck to you reconcile this hypocrisy? Why is every other girl in the waiting room with you doing something wrong, but it's just fine for you? How can you be faced with this choice, decide abortion is the best option for you and the potential child you carried, but refuse to waver in your blanket demonizing of women just like yourself?

I know why people take a pro-life stance- I respect the idea that the sanctity of life trumps all. (God/Goddess/Fate/The Universe/Evolution/Nature/Biophysics disagree apparently, but it's a very pretty idea...) But I get it, I really do. I'd love if there were never another girl or woman to find herself faced with such a choice. Those days at the center were sad for me. They were days of great loss overwhelming the confusing mix of 1,000 emotions. I see why you hate the act, and hate that someone chooses it. (I don't, of course, support legislating your personal moral judgement onto other's but I've covered that over and again.) But how, how, how can you find in your life the fact of abortion, the absolute need for it, and then continue to fight to deny other women the same opportunity you took for yourself. How wonderful for you that your faith, your dogma are so easily hurled in the direction of anyone struggling to make sense of a decision that can save or ruin lives, but they fall away so quickly when put to a real test. How lovely that your own rules don't apply when you have to deal with an unintended pregnany. It's the most narcissistic and disgusting thing I've ever encountered.

This just brought up all my rage from dealing with that before and, of course, having to bite my tongue. This is an instance where, in my perception, we have sisters hurting sisters. I think that living this experience would make someone realize that obviously, obviously there are situations in which an abortion is the best course of action, but no. This girl, and the others I met, assume they're somehow above the same "law" they're helping to write.

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