Saturday, July 14, 2007

bottom fell out

of my good mood and high energy.

I just have doubts today. I think my new blog project is excessively narcissistic, and I'm insane to think anyone would read it much less buy advertising on it some day. I'm thinking I couldn't finish new artwork by October even if my Fairy Goddess Mother flew in and fixed up my studio. I think the house will be a pit of filth forever and my husband loves Second Life more than me.

Given these feelings, and the calendar, we can all assume I'll be having a period in 7 days or so. I need to start charting carefully again because 1) it was really nice to know that my depression/anxiety is hormonal and 2) if Emsy had an accidental baby sibling I think Bu and I would end up divorced. The idea is just not good. I'm through with childbearing.

A "normal"American woman would surmise from the preceding paragraph that it's high time she marched her (shaved, tanned) legs into her (private, insurance-paid) gynecologist's office and got some birth control pills. Even a spazzish wanna-crunch paranoiac like me would start to think maybe she should research more and consider taking her pale hairy self to the low income clinic to discuss options with the one crunchy nurse practitioner.

For now I'm off to try to make sense of these moods on my charting page at MyMonthlyCycles.

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