My subconscious, in a fit of frustration with my inability to stay on the easiest diet plan in the world, arranged to pull me in line thusly:
I made a steamy yummy hot pot of coffee and enjoyed a cup while I made whole wheat (see? I try!) pancakes. I refilled the mostly empty cup and then absent-mindedly took a huge gulp of scalding liquid, panicked and stalled before spitting it into the sink, and now have awful, sandpapery, numb-stingy coffee burns all over my tongue.
The iced cafe au lait that followed was yum, but my pancakes were horrid scratchy inflaming pain. Food is not my friend.