Tuesday, November 27, 2007

the burgh & the boobs

We are safely in our hotel near Pittsburgh, despite the torrential rain and a teeny wrong turn that cost us .75 and 30 minutes on a toll road. We've been to dinner with Laura who is adorable and interesting in person- much as she is on my instant messenger, and Dan, who is freaking gorgeous very interestingly geeky and quietly smart. Dinner was delicious- did you know they can make tofu-ish stuff from wheat gluten? Then they can saute it in really good sweet sauce and sprinkle sesame seeds on and it's so good meat & potato guy liked it? I had no idea. Was telling Laura that I think gluten is a dirty word from work. (It's a common avoidance diet for autism & PDD.) This dish is fabulous though. I fear my doggie bag will not survive until lunch.

So the breast pump I brought is a pain in the ass, thank you Evenflow. Great suction, but it backs up if I don't keep it at exactly 90 degrees vertically. Also, dumping breastmilk down the drain is painful, as I'm sure if I'd only tried I could find a little preemie in the area who needs some expressed milk and would be more grateful than my baby. She flat out won't touch breast milk in a bottle anymore. So, I dump. I had a small internal pep talk that if Molly would be one of the rare toddlers who decide to wean after a short separation from mom, I still nursed 18 months, which earns me Milk Goddesshood in my culture so yay. (And the sleep... there would be sleep...) The chances of that are so small they may not actually exist outside of second-hand anecdotes.

I have done amazingly well with the mama separation anxiety. It helps knowing Molly's not having any. I still hate that I spend less time with her than I'd like to, but it's incredible that I have the grandies' safe happy home where she loves to visit. I miss her little sugar cookie self but I'm so, so excited about this king size bed in a nice clean room in a place not-home.

Also helpful is Molly's great timing in deciding that today would be a good day to learn to talk back to the telephone. Hearing "Mama!" and some babble and "Bye Bye" was delicious. She's at a kind of crossroads phase between baby baby and big toddler that is a roller coaster between clinging and exploring and it's wonderful.

 And now I surrender the laptop- actually in my lap for once, on a nifty lap desk thingy- back to Bu the Master of Flash, making damn fine babies, and driving in the rain at night.  

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