I am so fucking mad right now I just have no adjectives.
I called the office to get the blood test results from this morning. The woman who answered couldn't tell me, but she did say that the results are in Molly's chart and a nurse or doc wasn't available so they'd have to call back.
So then, drawing on my experience at the Women's Clinic- where as a receptionist I could give negative, nothing-wrong results but not positive results- I spiralled into a serious freakout thinking there must be some problem. The past two hours have seen me chugging chamomile tea and doing conscious breathing and dealing with a medium panic attack. I gave them 'til 4:45, then called back.
The goddamned office is closed for the weekend. I am royally, insanely, glowing red eyes pissed the fuck off. In the small sane part of my brain I think they would have made a point to return my call if there were anything worrisome to tell me. The bigger more anxious part of my brain is twitching and shaking and may decide to call the answering service to ask WTF they are thinking. Mommies worry. Surely a pediatric office knows this.
Maybe the nurse is still there and doing callbacks even though the incoming lines are closed.
Maybe I need to relax and realize that there is nothing wrong with my baby and that the fear that is infecting me is alarmist bullshit from anxiety and silly tests. I'll call Bu; he's on his way home and will help right my crazybrain.