Thursday, February 21, 2008


I'm really raw and scattered and all over the place. So. 

Aunt Pea just called to tell me they took Grandma straight to the nursing home from the hospital. An ambulance moved her apparently. I'm confused; the plan was to take her tomorrow.

Pea is hysterical but didn't want to talk. I'm upset too... I called and Bu is on his way home from smoky garage band beer fest.

I didn't expect Aunt Pea to fall apart, I guess. But it really sucks. I feel like we have all failed her and I can't stop thinking how alone she must feel and how disoriented. Last night the Birdy and I went to see her and she thought she was at home. She told me about my mom seeing her the previous day and what they had fixed for dinner. I corrected her because someone told me that was a better plan than just humoring her. That seems cruel? Condescending. But it is not fun to remind her her daughter, my mama, is dead and that her brain is broken and that she isn't home in familiar comforting surroundings.

I was going to try to take off work tomorrow but I can't. Too much prep for the gala. But we can spend the evening with her.

I hope she isn't angry, but I'd rather see her pissed at us than sad.

This all drug out forever, and she fell 100 times and all I wanted was a safe place for her. Now it seems like it smacked us in the face and we weren't ready.  

Pea was crying so hard I thought Grandma had died suddenly.

Molly says Dahn-Dah for  Grandma. Sounds identical to her "Dharma Dog."

No comments:

Post a Comment