she is my prize
won in blood and flame
my treasure held with fierce protection
i brought her from the dark
drawing on depths unexlpored
with your birthing i went so deeply inside myself i escaped it
moving without thought in spirals to
dance you down when dancing- even motion-
was so far beyond my reach i tasted death in the pain
and still kept moving for you
with sheer will i made my body
over in the image i demanded-
created strength from fear
and muscle from exhaustion
i moved earth and woke hell to find you,
perfect and small and soft.
i will surround you
with stones and claws and make
nests for you with my hair
i will surround you with
a fortess of growling, clawing love
walls solid as the bone that cradled you
warm as the flesh that bore you
i am this womb of steel force
ready to disperse like pollen on spring air
when you need me
to open, again,
my world for you.
* * *
I locked the post because I am extra copyright protective of this. It'll appear, I think, in my work for the upcoming motherhood themed art show. Raw, unedited streamy goodness. I had tears writing it. A lingering hurt from Molly's birth just healed a little more.
I think I'm going to start a series called What is Human. Been gestating it forever in my mind. Thinking about essential human nature. That we are mammals, animals. That, at the same time, we are so hyper self-aware we nearly destroy ourselves. Or we will- the next few years on this earth will show. I'm daydreaming about using "baker's clay" (basically simple hard dough baked in oven) in some kind of capacity but that might not be part of this work. I love the idea of these digital pieces- adds to the contrast between our brain selves & animal selves. "The medium is the message" & all. That's an obsession of mine too.
I made a blog but I don't know if I want to (insanely) start a trillionth blog project. I want to do something "meta" about the series, including the sketches and thought processes in a work that's an art piece in itself about the making of this stuff. A book would be better than a blog, I think. There are self-publishing options everywhere these days. We'll see. It would be very cool to publish a sketchbook with the series and writings and planning and musings.