Friday, April 18, 2008

i'm possessed with a strange and sudden need to know where Saturn is in my natal chart

I'm thinking if I fully explain this I'll get a severe spasm of one-handed-typer's-carpal-tunnel. So, I'll just throw out a chain of thought and you can feel free to follow it or me utterly lost.

I'm reading Eat. Pray. Love. It's stirring my mind wildly + beautifully.
She studies at an ashram where they "allow" you- this wording directly influenced by my newfound loathing of zen meditation- to use a mantra
I remember Om Namah Narayana that used to stay in my mind for days on end when I listened to Prodigy's Fat of the Land (love!)
I Google the chant, and find lots of incredible facts that resonate, including this phrase at Wikipedia:

This mantra is most powerful remedy for those who has atmakaraka either Saturn or its dispositor is Saturn.

Another interpretation of the word Narayana sees "Nara" meaning human and "Ayana" read as direction/goal. Hence Narayana refers to the "direction of a human" (or the one that helps a human to his/her goal) -- that towards moksha.

I then Google "saturn atmakaraka" and am overwhelmed with information the necessitates a much deeper knowledge of astrology than I possess.
Then I remember hearing The Grudge for the first time, and well... every time and grokking that Saturn is an important thing striking cords in my and must be addressed.
But it hasn't been.
And the symbol. I love his glyph.

But suddenly I want to go look up my birth chart again and then sit chanting for a few hours and see what the hell Saturn has to tell me and ask him WTF a Greco-Roman deity is doing hijacking my Hindu mantra synchronicities.

I feel a need to explain my feelings about astrology but I really can't without diving headfirst into a complex and labyrinthine diatribe about mysticism/pantheism/atheism/skepticism/transcendence and I really don't want to write a novel. My shiny new tagline can actually pretty well sum up the whole self-contradictory mess.

I really need to consolidate categories. Spirituality would be a nice neat box. Or, well, with this brain, probably not.

And also, holyshitsquee: Maynard James Keenan is an Aries too.

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