Wednesday, May 28, 2008

commercialism, laziness, and not so much with the weaning

We've ordered a Little Mermaid cake. The Bird is obsessed with Her Fishy-taled-ness lately. I'm cranky. There's a thread on my local mommy board about how many of the mamas shun licensed characters and TV. It brought up some icky feelings. Loving the concept of monitoring all that your kids are exposed to and keeping their childhood as innocent as humanly possible. (Also am very sick of fast-forwarding through the scary bits and feeling guilt for letting her watch videos that are too mature for her. And in less coherent moments of annoyance, raging at Disney for being such a twisted bunch of scary fucks in the first place.)

However: I'm absolutely too exhausted from thinking about every little thing. Also pretty sure that a Disney-inclusive childhood did not ruin me. She has massive mermaid squee and it's hard to ban anything that makes the munchkin that freaking happy. (The video came in a load of hand-me-downs and she was enchanted from the moment she saw the box. A fishy! A princess! A princess who is fishlike! zOMG!)

Is it just laziness that makes me resent the feeling that doing things in accordance with my parenting intuition is a constant uphill battle against everyone and everything in our environment? It's not a real big deal to me, this Disney Princess thingy- I suggested the cake theme. It's just swimming 'round there in my brain, being examined. I'm just sick to death of feeling like I have good ideas but not doing anything about them because it's easier to flow. Swim with the school. Snerk. I just wonder what it means that I take the easy way so often... I'm pretty sure it means

I am very, very tired
and have to cut myself some slack from the uber-granola ideals I have.

To address that, Bu has suggested that I leave the house a few nights at bedtime to let him take over. Maybe I can sneak back in and she'll stay in bed with him. The weaning trend has reversed, and I've had to nurse her to sleep and through the days too. Then, of course, all through the nights. As tomorrow is the birthday, I think Friday night will be a better time to start the experiment. It also happens that a bunch of girls are going to see Sex and the City and have drinks that night, so the timing is good.

The Ariel thing isn't all fraught with commercial anxieties, anyway. I read the Hans Christian Anderson story when I was young and I love it, so there's some sentimentality watching her love the story too. Maybe I'll get her the real version when she's older and I'll feel better. I had thought of making my own illustration and having a non-Disney mermaid cake, but- again- exhausted.

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