Tuesday, July 29, 2008

pressure

I want a life coach. I said this to Bu and he said we already know what to do but are resisting the doing of it. But I don't. I have the lists and the notes and the sketches and the Big Creative Breakthroughs. But I can't do them all. I can't find a heirarchy. There is only:

1. Mothering
2. The chaotic, clashing, various Everything Else.

How do I edit this passionate river of creative urge pushing at me with a hundred different currents? How do I find a direction in a million beautiful paths before me, when all I can feel for certain is the being I'm carrying- something (small someone) heavy and important and verdant and living and growing and voracious and demanding and constant?

I'm in circles.

It's not parenting that presses and worries, it's trying to do anything else simultaneously.

5 comments:

  1. Oh, so your list looks just like mine!

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  2. SH, that is a big comfort. I'm sure a lot of moms have similar overwhelmed feelings... part of the stupidity of anxiety is how it all swirls around you and you feel alone.

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  3. Ok, so I'm not a mommy. But I have one and she was amazingly productive. Still is. She wasn't always though. She referenced a book a lot growing up when I would express how I struggle with living up to her organizational standards. It's (now) called Confessions of an Organized Homemaker (originally it was "housewife" instead of "homemaker" - teehee!)

    Here are some of the tips she's passed on to me.

    Schedule time to do things; daily, weekly, monthly. Each Tuesday is laundry, every other Wednesday you wash the kitchen floor, Sunday mornings you take the recycling to the center.

    This way, if you spill some crap on the kitchen floor, you can just take care of it quickly knowing that you'll clean it up better on Wednesday.

    This could also be applied to creative time. Schedule it. Daily. Nightly. Weekly. Whenever. Stick to it. Even if you spend 45 minutes cleaning your work space and 15 minutes of actual creative time, you'll still feel good an accomplished.

    This relates a lot to my most recent blog post! I will now pimp it: Laura Without Labels.

    You are awesome! *hugs* You'll get to it. You will!

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  4. I think I have Confessions of an Organized Houssewife... will bring to you when we meet, if you want!

    My approach to housecleaning is generally sporadic, but I have to do laundry a lot (b/c of the diapers) so that helps with that.

    My best tips are:

    Everything needs a place. If it doesn't have a place, it will look out of place and thus messy. (i.e. decluttering is teh awesme, but sometimes you just have to get creative, finding new places to keep things!)

    Do it NOW. When you notice it, not putting it off...

    Don't beat yourself up if you get overwhelmed, just pick one thing and get that accomplished and you'll feel better! I'm all for flylady's shiny sink theory, although I don't actually *shine* my sink, I just keep it nice looking.

    Ask for a roomba for your birthday/ x-mas/ anniversary = combo gift! I don't have one yet, but that's my plan... fucking floors are the bane of my householding experience!

    do a little everyday...

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  5. I was going to be a life coach...and then I couldn't figure out if I wanted to be one! (Ha!!! Ironic.) I'd like to finish my master's in counseling, get an art degree, write a book, design fireworks displays, plan parties and events, become a high-level amateur runner, become a champion Scrabble player, and somehow breed kittens without taking away from my belief that people should only get kittens from shelters. Oh...and I'd also like to become a stay-at-home mom now that all my kids are in school. ;-)

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