Friday, August 15, 2008

mermaids and pirates

I'm so pissed off at Sketchcast, I'm not even going to link them! They've been down since last night, depriving the intarwebs of my fanstaxxxtic erotic mermaid sketch I was planning to doodle as I narrated last night's bedtime ritual. I have no drawing, but here is the story I was so consumed with broadcasting:

The Bird demands a Peter Pan story. I have no copy of Peter Pan in book form and am also confused by her request because the one time I tried to show her the Disney movie she was frightened and lasted only about 10 minutes. But, she demands Pan. I haven't read said story in ages, and although I love it, I'm really, really fuzzy on the details. And the larger plot as well. So I improvise, and rely heavily on the ticktock crocodile as a hypnotic toddler narcotic device. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Eventually, I'm a little sleepy as well, and the Benadryl that has become my bedtime ritual (what with the awesome two-birds-ness of it curing both allergies and insomnia) is making mama quite loopedy. My story consists of repeated visits to the mermaid lagoon (They have that, right? I remember a mermaid lagoon.) and as I get sleepier and more bored with my own winding, goofy Neverland tale, and the baby is nearing sleep, I find myself lingering on descriptions of the beautiful, delicious, shiny mermaids. I'm sure I stopped before it was like, "Dear Penthouse Forum, I'm a bisexual woman but I'd never been with a mermaid until..."

Bu was vaguely disturbed by my story, which is obviously very funny and not at all inappropriate as I have already made clear. I knew that my web junkie peeps would appreciate a very funny narrative about the sleepy hot-for-mermaids mommy and a pretty mermaid picture. But no. My beloved doodle + babble platform was b0rked. And it remains so. It's extra annoying, because I think Blogger will actually let me embed them into posts, and I can't test my theory.


And now for something completely different sort of related if you let me work the whole ocean theme here:

Talk Like A Pirate Day Party! We are having one. If you're within travel distance of Charleston, WV, do please come. The houseguest list is full, but you may totally bring a tent and sleep in my yard:) I am stoked as hell. We love pirates. We lllllluuuuuuuuurrrrrrvvvvvvveeee pirates. A certain obvious movie franchise has delighted the pants off us, (Yes, sometimes literally) but I have always really liked pirate costumes. Because that is the very best ever time to have half an arm. I throw a hook on and a 'do rag and I AM THERE. Am best pirate chick evar, it's an unarguable fact.I get way too excited about pirate theme parties. And now you know that.


  1. Mermaids = slippery. Want to see it if it's unborked some day!

  2. OOOOh, now I want to come to your party as a pirate mermaid!!!!!!!!!!

  3. Now that it is pirates and mermaids, I would totally go if I lived near. I have a long green wig left over from when a friend and I dressed as mermaids for my sister's wedding shower (it was mermaid/nautical themed). It still has pieces of the plastic fish and seaweed we hot glued into it.