Thursday, August 21, 2008

only a little

The 'verse wants an elephant girl post.

Weeds had Shane and me in hysterical gales of laughter when Andy (who is delicious and may be a new actor crush) told Silas about his girlfriend with a baby arm. (He loved it; It made his penis look huuuuge.) We locked eyes and erupted in tearful that is so awesome laughter. That show is excellent with regards to the funny and real way it addresses disabilities.

Then yesterday, I found a Blog Against Disablism badge at another blog yesterday, and it reminded me of a couple of people I connected with when I reposted the art thing I made about my arm. Then one of those people, Treesa from Blankets and Drums commented on a post here.

Today, I was in the car with the radio on. The new rock station quit playing Tool, and NPR was doing sleepy stuff, so I tuned to the old rock station which plays the A.Noy.Ing Bob & Tom in the morning. I was desperate for noise, so I sat through a(n actually funny sort of) song by some comedian Sean Morey*. Then they talked to a guy (maybe this dude) who is apparently a "serial dater" who says he can pick out in any crowd "the girl who he can get. Not the one I want, but the one I can get." (Sexist bullshit and generic "comedy" alarms make a dull, "bored now!" clang.) Then one of the DJs asks, "Well how do you fit her wheelchair in the car?" Cue riotous loud stupid-guy-guffaws from everyone on show. Cue Daisy physically punching my steering wheel in rage and screaming at the radio in disbelief while my sexyasstotallyfuckinggreatlittle arm steers.

I'm working (OK, mostly only in my head) on finishing the Elephant Girl zine. It's going to kick so much ass. My stuff- my writing, my body, my experience- is more about identity than it is difablism (isn't that fabulous!?) or disablism. My abilities are limited only a little. It's mostly, interestingly, a cosmetic birth defect. It's just a big one. My limits largely depend on my comfort level- things like carrying stuff in more trips if I'm around new people rather than using my arm in a way that brings attention to it. I don't have access issues really beyond things that are more than anything about being really left handed (XD I could rotate that with the anatomical noncomformist tagline: Daisybones, Really, Really Left-Handed.)

So it becomes about alienation and difference as an internal thing. About reactions to appearance. When I meet someone who has a visible disability, a "real" one that challenges them in moving or communication or learning, I feel at the same time an "us-ness" and an awareness that their experience is not mine. So it's a weird vantage point, between segments of the human mosaic. That's where I live I guess, in those betweens? Bisexual so not gay/straight but also in hetero marriage so between queer/not queer too. This kind of becomes a beautiful thing to think of- that multiplicity. When I looked at the difabled blogs I found a lot of gorgeous queerness too and was delighted. This is what I see in writing and working against oppressions of all sorts: an embracing of multiplicity and a liquid approach to grouping and identifying.

*Broad Manly, you must click. You'll love.


  1. D'aw, can't thank you enough for the link! You win the First Person To Link to mah Blog Award! Mucho amor <3

    I agree w/ Us-ness vs. Otherness, since we each have such unique experiences with our own difability (and sexuality!)... It's weird, I've mostly seen a dichotomy between people who have been differently abled from birth, and those of us who have developed a progressive disability later in life. (Not negative, mostly. Just different.) I almost wish I had been born with rheumatoid arthritis as I think I would be dealing with it more sanely/creatively, or something (as you have with your intense leftiness!)

    I am so excited about Elephant Zine! Let me know if you need any help with it :)

  2. Yes, that makes sense. Sometimes people ask me questions that are framed as if I had any clue at all what it's like to live with two typical hands. Hai, I don't. Not really.

    You can help pimp my zine if you want to, just link me when I get it made. I'm so drowning in unfinished or unSTARTED creative ideas. Halp?!

  3. Je can has zine help! Sounds like fun, and pimpage can definitely happen (especially at my colludge disability support group etc)... I see you have the googlechatthing, send me a message sometime or vice-versaz...

  4. Just stopping in to say hello and thanks so much for stopping by my blog. I've added you to my reader, so now we can keep track of each other!