Wednesday, October 22, 2008

red epiphane

I was lying in bed, drowsy and contemplative, and staring at what I think of as my gypsy curtains: a too-large dress sliced up and tacked over the bedroom windows. There are violets and golds but the dominant color is a perfect, satisfying crimson.

I was staring at the patterns (vaguely eastern) meditating on the fabric, and in a sudden epiphane I was suddenly aware that I had been in denial about my favorite colors- bouncing around from greens to oranges and blues if they were properly tealish. I was suddenly aware (with an importance I can't quite convey without admitting it will seem silly to you) that crimson has been my favorite color for a very long time. I'm drawn to reds and burgundies in my home things and my wardrobe,my paintings have always featured alizarin crimson. (I'm enamored too by the name of the plant used to make this pigment: madder.)

It was a blooming, powerful understanding to become aware that this color, of my blood and paint, of anger and power and passion, of birth and wounding, is my most beloved. It was like I'd always thought I was a ghost and suddenly realized I have substance. Flesh.

Crimson is a visceral, physical woman color. Throbbing, vampiric, erotic, wine color.

bloodlifedeathsexcolor.

It's the hue of owning my mortality and physicality.

++++++++++++

Edit: Art is a quickie PS manipulation of art that'll appear in Weave Issue #1. 

8 comments:

  1. There is a wild and suggestive emotion running through crimson. As it escapes a body, it speaks. As other colors yield to its strength, it speaks.
    As it warms with no elements of heat, it speaks.
    It's a rush, it's a sigh, it's dangerous and precious, it's the top of every rainbow...and it keeps all colors alive...and it's in your words. Yes, black as your words appear, they are crimson.

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  2. @missbanshee Thanks. Red is a Banshee color, too!

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  3. @Rapscallion Thanks for going there with me, into the Temple of Red. It's like the Red Tent, but boys are allowed to come too and there is less cramping.

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  4. Crimson has been my favorite color for a long time too.

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  5. this post was a brilliant stream of consciousness. i love those moments of awareness.
    and by the way, the art? LURVE it. esp because "my own" is the same letters of "womyn" and so i read it as both. :)
    xoxo

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  6. I read this and all I can think is "scorpio scorpio scorpio", though I see you are an aries... though I suppose red is both fire and water, water as the raging sea, both the heat and the rush and the flow...

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  7. @Heidi Groovy:) Great minds. Again.

    @MereNMortal Fabulous anagram-spotting. Too cool.

    @treesa Oh yeah... I forgot that it is an Aries color. I'd like to sign up to be an honorary Scorpio though please:)

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