Friday, November 21, 2008

from now on communications with me must be carried out on twitter or this blog, for face time is scary and worrisome.

I think this is the fastest I've ever made it from driveway to keyboard. Something primal directs me to blog. For blogtopia is my home, and I need to be home- both in my nest of wood paneled cozy 70s-ness and my brain home of here/this/you. Sigh. The drama, let me drop it.. OK, plonk; dropped. There is no Big. I just have a wintry agoraphobic twinge and after-convo social anxiety.

Again, it's nothing, no Thing. I just unleashed a shit-ton of verbal diarrhea on a new coworker and feel a little bit like I think I would if I'd showed up to work in a sparkly bikini with the words "unmitigated freak mama" tattoed on my belly. This led to a drive home in which the following conclusions were reached:

1. People who have no censor on their mouths should also be the type of people who don't wig about what people think of them, and

2. People who want to be adored and loved and snuggled like puppies by everyone in the entire universe should have very mainstream, palatable opinions about everything. Very normal, broadly appealing ideas.

However, the rational part of me knows that I am just slightly shy but oddly talkative and being that all openly Daisyish is really not that fucking shocking at all. Still, I am passingly worried that she didn't grok that I was being ironic/self-deprecating and funny when I said "holler" instead of "hollow."


  1. I will reel for days with the "after-convo social anxiety". It's the kind of thing that makes me physically wince if the thought crosses my mind later. I recently told a friend that I needed to work on not saying the weird things that come into my head as much. She said if I started self-censoring like that, I wouldn't be the same me. An inconvenient truth? Probably. People are either going to like you now for being wonderfully different or like you for something you're not and change their minds later. Yeah, and I know that's the pot and the kettle, but still. I'm not just reminding you of it...I'm trying to remind myself as well. :-)

  2. Thanks, Tina:) That is so exactly what I will be telling myself from now on. I gotta be me, of course. And you gotta be you, and soon we should hang out and see if that anxiety can be a double negative and render us both perfectly at ease. Wine could help. We shall have wine!

  3. Funny how a statement like that would come at a time like this. Yes, we should get together and YES we should have wine. I can spill my guts about all the angst currently in my life. Completely inappropriate discussion for a first-time meeting. Awesome!

    So hit me up via my blog and it's ON!