Thursday, November 20, 2008

this beautiful girl

We have had a long day: Doctor visit, napless until evening, tantrums, horrendous poops, etc. I finally settled her into bed- our sleeping routine hasn't changed since weaning, except for her glorious lack of waking- and she rolled over, nuzzling her chin against my nose. "I hold you now, mama," she sighs. Her face quiets into a serenity that makes me think of Yoda, Buddha, and stoned hippies. Then my mind grows serious and reverent, watching this perfect tiny beauty. I'm in a blissful awe, thinking she has a sort of elegant beauty under the baby-ness that is really amazing. She lifts a doll-like, graceful finger, digs out of her delicate nose a sticky booger, and happily pops it into her mouth.

I have decided that this age is far more wonderful than I'd thought when I wailed about being better suited to the constant physical need of the newborn than the utterfuckingchaos of toddlerhood. With her language now a flowing, easy thing she is incredibly entertaining and endearing and quirky and singular.


  1. This is the best thing ever. I sometimes wonder if our snot has like healing properties and that's why little kids are compelled to eat them.

  2. I really don't think it's a coincidence that she and I have the same birthday. And everything you write about her reinforces this belief. I really hope I get to meet her and see you again when I'm home for Xmas!!! xoxoxox

  3. I love this post, and can feel the glory of her! PLEASE, Heidi, don't let her begin eating boogers! hahaha. That is the nightmare of every kindergarten teacher: 20 adorable little one's faces, listening intently as your voice weaves a tale carrying them to magic lands, still as stones, wide eyed...punctuated by 20 fingers popping 20 boogers in varied staes of slime and green into their mouths. It's kind of nauseating. lol NOW IS THE TIME mama, to teach her about tissues. In fact, the children in my life all believe I possess a "Booger collection". Everytime I wipe a nose I tell them it is for my collection. They are so interested asking many questions: "Where do you keep them?" "How do you know which ones belong to who?" "Do you put my name on it?"

    Anyway, I would never share this with most mamas, but YOU, I think, can find the humor (and necessity) in my plea. I love you. xoxoxo Marianne

  4. Ah, toddlerhood. I love it, too.

    I wish Rems language was fluent... we're starting to worry a little (but technically he has til 3 til we really need to worry). But we do understand him, we're just not getting a lot of general chatter yet...

    Chat this weekend? I may have news...

  5. I thought motherhood was going to be like it was when he was a newborn and tiny baby...I'm so glad that it isn't, that it's about talking and telling jokes and singing songs and coloring and destructifying (my word!) and laughing and tantrums and being a REAL LIVE PERSON with REAL LIVE OPINIONS instead!

  6. LOL thanks for the comments, everyone. Yes- the reality of her person-ness is a wonderful unfolding.

    And Marianne, my dear wise-woman, I do swear to Take The Booger Seriously, much as I have decided that hearing "fuck" in that tiny voice is only amusing in a South Parkish, don't-kick-the-baby *kick* kind of way and must be stopped post-haste.