Monday, February 9, 2009

Overheard at Casa Des Tantrums

"Fuck YOU Dr. Sears you class-ignorant asshole dipshit FUCK!"

This after being reamed out via text in The Discipline Book for ignoring my maternal instincts and returning to work, thus damaging my poor daughter's perception of gender roles. I flipped hurredly to the copyright, then screamed

Nineteen-fucking-Ninety-Five? Are you bloody kidding me? FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

And furthermore,
Dr. S, your statement that attachment parenting helps prevent tantrums- oh my! was that great for a grand, sarcastic belly-laugh. If only I'd snuggled and worn the baby nearly constantly, and had family caregivers who do same.. If only I'd nursed her until she was two and a half- if only she still slept snuggled warm against her mama.I could have created a Magic Zen Child, if only I'd known these mystical secrets. Oh, woe is me who was such a careless mommy.

And somehow the book managed to stay structurally intact and still open in front of me, at which point I read a reference to gender dysfunction. In the good Doctor's defense, he defended gender-bending play as normal, but he went on to imply that lasting discomfort with gender is a dysfunction, and I disagree. It's a minority of people who express gender in ways we don't expect, but where is any medical evidence that this is at all a disorder?

So, good morning. You'll be reading this Monday. Please ignore my pissy rantings, and enjoy your coffee or green tea or your Bloody Mary and have a fabulous week. I have an orgy of posting possibilities, including the best questions in the history of the internet meme from Thordora for an interview thing. Let's all watch to see if time allows the creative juices to flow, shall we?

Edit: Or perhaps Blogger will go wonky and you'll see this Sunday. Whatever.


  1. My constant feeling of discomfort when forced to pick man or woman is not a dysfunction but rather a sign that androgyny is where-the-fuck-it's-at.

    I'm sending good mojo for your creative juices, since all of this good mojo has done nothing for mine, maybe it just doesn't like me.



  2. I see this Sunday but it says Monday... I think that blogger might have days-of-the-week dysfunction or something...

    Dr Sears: Can eat my poop. Literally. In a big bowl, with a cherry on the top, if he asks nicely. What a motherfucker. (I never read that book, being all into the crazy Uncoditional Parenting thing. And I've had people warn me...)

    Toddlers were made to throw tantrums. Just as mommies were made to drink copious amounts of alcohol (or eat lots of chocolate, or meditate til all hours, or whatever floats their boats) and try hard not to throw themselves out of windows :D

    Today's last tantrum: didn't want a diaper on. Freaked OUT and did the hysterical flailing around like we were torturing him when said diaper got changed anyway. WTF? Wet diaper = need new one!

  3. There are many things Dr. Sears says that are good...there are many things that he says that make me just as mad :/

    One of the great disservices he does women (and all parents, frankly) is to imply, whether or not he INTENDS to imply it, that if your kid is acting out/not behaving like a calm-happy-buddhalike-aboriginal-baby, that somehow your parenting is at fault. I had seven months at home with my son, wore him as much as I could handle, and nursed him until he was 22 months old...and you know what? He was still high needs. He still screamed for hours as an infant and left me frazzled. I was SURE that because Dr. Sears said babies should be calm and serene if I parented correctly that somehow, somewhere, I was all UR DOIN IT RONG!

    I think there are a lot of techniques we can use to lessen the severity of tantrums or eliminate them altogether, but sometimes kids just need to say no and have a screaming fit. I put Ciaran in time out TWICE on Sunday and not at all since then...but yesterday he nearly went into meltdown over something tiny and ridiculous. That time I headed him off.

    Of course, then there are the people who'd think I'm cruel for ever putting him in time-out.