Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Mojo Medicine Review! Bamboo Charcoal as Treatment for PMDD

(This wasn't a solicited review. If the makers of the very fine, very pricey black sludge would like to send me some, I'd be honored to post yet another glowing review- the next one possibly even refraining from use of the word

Dr. Voodoo recommended a three pronged attack on my demonic possession PMDD. He attributes it (in me) to a toxic amount of estrogen built up in my liver, and we treat that by
  1. avoiding the incredu-licious Tofu Tacos at Tricky Fish and all other soy delights,
  2. painful as hell liver massage (seriously, he pokes deeply enough he might actually be puncturing and DRAINING the estrogen out of the poor organ), and
  3. daily doses of Takesumi powder in water. This is charcoal made from bamboo. Yes, I am drinking ashes.
 For about a month, the diet and other treatments for my back pain, etc. seemed to be, um.... a honking bunch of New Age bullshit, according to my inner skeptical punk, or in the words of my deeper earthmama self, a slow and inside-outward holistic plan that requires patience and faith. And now, a bit farther in, we are at:

Dr. Voodoo & Hippiechick: 1
Punk-ass cynic & Various Ailments: 0.

My spine/legs have improved some. But as apparently this is Yoni Month around here, I'll be discussing my period, thankyouverymuch.

I'm just finishing, freshly emerged from the Red Tent and previously, Hat Week. (Formerly named Hell Week, now named in shorthand for hold on to your fucking hat week.) It was AMAZING. The whole shebang. She-Bang. Yes. Amazing. The Mz. Hyde hell-beast only was around for two days, and the heavy flow and cramps were just poof!ed- Very light bleeding for very few days. Happy days are here, my friends. My husband is no longer afraid of me. Funny aside, though: He asked to see my ink-wash drawing when he saw my cup of Takesumi:

To wrap this up, in my very own particular (not a health care professional) experience I (cannot give medical advice and am maybe not even to be trusted to remember my birth control pills) am really happy to share with the world my PMDD therapies:
  1. Gianvi birth control pills, generic for Yaz.
  2. Takesumi Supreme 1.5 scoops twice a day.
  3. Soy free diet, which is hard. Soy is in everything. Scrutinize labels.
Happy Monthlies, my sisters.

1 comment:

  1. The whole shebang. She-Bang. Yes. Amazing. The Mz. Hyde hell-beast only was around for two days, charcoal treatment