Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Let's Pretend it's Tuesday and I'm Not Crazy

Because I'm not. I am having a perfectly normal reaction to being in pain nearly every moment for three months. So when the doctor at the urgent care suggested I need a psychiatrist, I wanted to throttle her. When my PCP interpreted my statement that my anxiety and depression are worse due to the pain, she switched my antidepressant and took me OFF my pain meds. She said she has no idea why I'd need a neurologist with a clear brain MRI. I was too defeated to remind her that the nervous system extends beyond the brain and that the spine EXPERT and the holistic natural guy both think a neurologist is needed. I walked out in tears. RATIONAL tears.

By this morning, the narcotics had cleared my system, and my pain was unlivable. The thought that no one understands that the pain is the issue- the single, all-encompassing issue in my life- drove me into an enraged panicky mess that, OK, did a good impression of crazy.

Bu came home after a teary call from your perfectly appropriately freaked and hurting blogger, and took me to Med Express. (Because I am not seeing that non-listening PCP ever, ever again.) The lovely people at ME made me feel like a junkie. I had to give a urine sample. I limped out with enough pain meds for six days if I am very judicious, and a note that I am not to return there for pain; must see my PCP. My new PCP appointment is scheduled a lot more than six days from now.

I had a call from the old/current PCP with a referral to a poorly rated doctor at that shit hospital that killed my mom. I called back and asked very politely for a referral to a friend-recommended neurologist who also specializes in pain management.

I am now comfortable if I lie flat, and am deliberately keeping my thoughts centered on today only.

So. We are pretending it's Tuesday, yeah? Let's make with the treasures!!! Today we have a rainbow crochet cap from my shop and a sparkly hot pink scarf hand made by my darling neighbor K.

There: snuggly, colorful fashion cures all ills.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

1 comment:

  1. ZOMG that sucks, darlingheart!!!!

    (((((((((huge hugs of love and hope and prayers and mojo))))))))))