Friday, June 1, 2012

Typical Overwhelmed Mommyblogger Post

To be clear, this post is completely a procrastination mechanism. We've much to do today, what with the Absolute Perfect Storm of Ill-Timed Life Events. I'm prepping for Molly's 6th birthday party while trying to spend time snuggling and grooming Dharma, as we have an appointment to euthanize her this evening. Molly understands that she "most likely" won't come home from the vet's office. She asked, with the theatrical gleam in her eye- project!- if we could have a doggie funeral. Because a six year old girl can put the fun in funeral. Oh yes.

Meanwhile, my neurosurgeon says there may be more stenosis from my bone anomalies (look, Jennifer K- I've stopped using 'deformity') causing continued nerve pain. Stenosis is apparently when the holes in the vertebrae are too tight for the spinal cord and things get angry in there. His words- too mentally busy to google it again. I'm waiting to get a new MRI and then we'll see where to go from there. Could be more surgery. Could be spinal cord stimulator, and could be he'll just complete my cyborg transformation, in which case I demand an arm that shoots lasers, silver bullets, oaken stakes, and regular ammo. The latter is most likely to help, as we've had a Class I Zombie Outbreak.

Immediately I want to delete my joke, as the attack was on a real human, in real life, who has lost his fucking face. His FACE. Kids, for fuck's sake, smoke weed if you must drug it up. It's a motherfucking herb. Hard drugs can make honor roll students eat peoples' faces. We should be learning this in science class, along with normal human sexuality and do you see how much I don't want to leave my little writing bubble? Reality hurts. I have my mother's little helper script full and at the ready, so I'm armed against Generalized Anxiety Disorder if not full-on melancholic reality. Better still, I've got my wee Birdy, whose smiles turn the saddest Ex-Goth-Ish Grrl into a Twee Hippie Mama 100 times a day. I have my Bu in whose shoulders I've buried far more grief than this, so we'll be fine. I think Molly will handle it very well, and that's a big comfort.

Um, OK. I'm off to create a paleontology party and brush my Dharma and feed her peanut butter, her favorite food. Here's our gorgeous pup watching her smallest human play:

That silhouette with the floppy lab ear and pointy shepherd ear is the most beautiful thing in the world today. I'll write more about her later and tell you about her adventures, intelligence and sweetness. She's had an amazing and long life and we're all so lucky to have been her family.


  1. As I spoke to the universe this morning to implore it to take care of my near and dears, you were right there at the top, m'love. I dropped your bro-in-law and my hubs at your door yesterday morning, Dharma was already outside (and quite spry - pets can be tricky that way) and I got a chance to say "hi and bye" to her. Aaaand now I'm crying into my keyboard. That can't be good, now can it?

    I hope we can come see your fey paleontologist and play tomorrow.

    Love to my Souster. Namaste.

    1. My Souster, you are a darling star in my Universe. Thank you for your sweetest words. Love to you:(