Sunday, March 16, 2014

Conscious, at Least?

This is not me wincing in pain; it's just evidence that I like portraits with scrunched-up faces and I'm in bed in Molly's very dark room and pinched my eyes tight against the camera flash. 

I'm awake, with slight trepidation, because consciousness didn't work out so well for me yesterday. I was mostly drugged stupid and/or asleep because my pain was at the level they don't put on those happyface-to-crying face scale charts because demon cartoons would scare patients.

It seems like a better day but it's also a bloody fabulous day to stay in bed on a Sunday morning with a warm, quiet seven year old girl (meaning obviously a sleeping one because oh my unholy loquacious nuns* is this child chatty) and an equally quiet snuggly puppy. 

So I'm ostriching and staying in bed so I don't have to test my hips and legs. My theory, based on personal physical observation, is that my pelvis is made of lead and covered in spikes. My legs are made of jagged broken glass, and all the nerves inside them are electrified barbed wire. I started a(nother) new treatment, a cream that has anaesthetics, muscle relaxers, neural pain stuff, and motherfucking ketamine. (Special K to you club kids who don't read mommy blogs because you're goddamn ravers who can still dance. Fuck you, by the way, since I'm jealous and bitter and you're an imaginary readership. Fuck your movable hips and shit.) 

It seems to help, my new Rave Cream (I'm gonna call it that as of just now) but not in a miraculous way. The night before last it loosened the rusted hips up a little but it didn't do anything for the Clive Barkeresque pain because nothing does besides hiding from it under so, so many drugs.

Here's hoping today can be a day of not-horror. Cheers! Perky adorable well wishes to you all and please don't worry that I was all lalalala postcards from hell lalalala. 

I'm probably better now. But I should stay in bed a little longer just in case. An abundance of caution and sleepy puppy and all.


*Haven't you read Good Omens? My god. What are you doing with your life?

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