Thursday, August 28, 2014

My Left Foot

So howyadoin'? I think I broke my damn foot yesterday. But only a little. I'm being obstinate and refusing to go pay for an X-ray for information that's essentially useless. The treatment for a teeny break in your foot is "Here, take these pain pills and stay off your feet." 

I pause for comedic effect.

How this happened was my pain was bad enough that I had taken a muscle relaxer. I felt steady enough to be in the kitchen by my adored butcher block table, grabbing a snack. Then a stab of nerve pain literally knocked me to the ground. 

When I stood up, I found I'd hurt my foot although the how of it is perplexing. It feels like I had it wedged between two unforgiving surfaces or struck it with a hammer. I also hit my shoulder on the corner of the table.

Honestly, I am unsure how I should still be alive. This body. It is a quirk or cosmic oddity. I am so clumsy in it you'd think I just woke up in it yesterday. 

I suppose it's likely that the asymmetrical limbs and twisty spine are responsible for a lot of my ungainly nature. I don't know.

Anyway, that is the story of how I'm now resting on my ass for two reasons. And this dose of meds is kicking in enough that words-hard-television-pretty.

Peace out, bl'eaders. I love ya.

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